Index of Articles in Frank's Corner of Sailing Texas
WHY SAILBOATS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN by Adon Voile
Sailboats never choose to get their hair done instead of spending time with you.
Sailboats never have a curfew.
Sailboats never break a date.
Sailboats never have a headache.
Sailboats are always in the mood.
You can ride a Boat any time of the month.
Boats don't have parents.
Sailboats are appropriately greeted with a whistle.
Sailboats never care if you arrive with buddies and choose to spend the evening playing cards.
Sailboats will always perform for you to the best of their abilities. You just need to treat them with care and not interfere with what they were designed to do.
Sailboats, like women, are best maneuvered with a light touch. However, only a sailboat's response is predictable.
Sailboats will tolerate some neglect quite well. However, like some women, sailboats will try to dump you if you are too heavy handed with them or neglect their basic needs for too long.
Both sailboats and women like to show their superstructures to best advantage. Sailboats, however, never complain that they have nothing to wear.
Sailboats, like women, can demand that you spend substantial amounts of money on their upkeep and maintenance. With sailboats, you are always guaranteed a good ride afterwards.
Sailboats never need another pair of shoes.
Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.
Sailboats don't care if you choose to spend the night with another woman.
Sailboats don't give you the cold shoulder after you have not called or visited for a while.
Sailboats always leave it to you to decide if you want to go out in foul weather.
Sailboats never complain that you don't talk to them.
You never have to bring a sailboat gifts of flowers, chocolates or jewelry.
You don't need to romance your sailboat before she'll let you spend the night.
Sailboats never get pregnant.
Sailboats never get PMS.
You cannot catch a sexually transmitted disease from spending time with many different sailboats.
With a sailboat you never need to carry protection.
A sailboat never gets jealous.
You can always tell a sailboat about other sailboats that you have sailed.
A sailboat never compares you to others who have sailed her.
A sailboat never fakes it.
A sailboat looks just as appealing the morning after.
Nobody is offended if you ask to borrow their sailboat for a romantic evening or weekend.
One sailboat can simultaneously satisfy the needs of quite a few men and women.
A fully rigged sailboat can call for several pairs of hands to keep her satisfied and in proper trim, and nobody thinks poorly of her.
When you buy an electric device to help single-hand a sailboat, nobody thinks less of you, and the sailboat is not embarrassed when you demonstrate the actual use of the appliance.
Sailboats never flirt and never play hard to get.
Sailboats respond best if you first wash their painted bottoms.
Sailboats never ask if their stern is too wide or if their rigging is sagging.
Sailboats never pout if you choose not to spend the night.
Sailboats don't make a scene if you choose to go with a younger model.
Well maintained, gracefully aging sailboats always have hordes of younger and older men lusting after them.
Sailboats always gratify you with their performance when you custom fit them with the newest fabrics.
Sailboats can always be rented to others by the day or by the hour.
In wide open spaces, quality rope or lengths of chain are used to anchor a sailboat. Imagine trying this with a woman.
It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.
Before a sailboat changes hands, the current owner encourages all serious potential prospects to take her for a spin and try her out.
Sailboats respond well if you tie them up for the night.
Thru-hulls are critical to below deck operations. Only with a sailboat are you encouraged to inspect each thru-hull BEFORE you take her out.
Please let Frank know what you think about this new section of Sailing Texas. We need feed back!
If you would like to add your thoughts on this or on any sailing topics, please Email Alison at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will post your sailing experiences on this website.