Sailing Humor

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Starboard and Port

For memorizing the difference port and starboard and their corresponding lights, there is a surprisingly simple method. Which side of the boat is the starboard side? Well, letís see, the word "starboard" is longer than the word "port". And the word "right" is longer than the word "left". So the starboard side of the boat must be the right-hand side of the boat. (if yer facing forward!)

But what of the lights? You guessed it; the word "green" is longer than the word "red". So the starboard or right side of the boat will carry the green light, all the words being longer than those on the port, or left side which carries the red light.

The only problem with this method is that the beginning sailor will tend to assume that by this logic, the starboard side of the boat is actually longer than the port side. Thatís fine. Simply explain that that is where all the weather-helm is coming from.

The Charter Boat Captain

He sailed a charter boat for years. Every morning, before he would start out his sail, he would go to his private locker, take out a piece of paper, read it, then put it back. At lunch time, he would do the same - go to his locker, take out a piece of paper, read it, then put it back.

He would do this 2 or 3 times a day - and for all the years that he sailed. His crew always wondered what it was that he was reading, and always thought it was a prayer for safety. Whenever they asked him about it, he would say it was his own private inspiration, but would never tell anyone what was on that slip of paper.

Years later, the old captain finally went to his sailboat in the sky. After they held his burial at sea from his boat, one of his longtime crew went to the captain's locker and looked for the slip of paper that he read every day. He figured it would be fitting to set it off to sea along with the old captain.

When the crewmember found the slip of paper, he was surprised to see that it read:

Port: left; Starboard: right.

Sailboat Humor
Starboard and Port
Sailing Definitions

GREAT page of funny boat names from Kevin Curran

Sell your Sailboat to Africa!

Grandpa's Funny Pages
Page 2: Sell your Sailboat to Africa!
Page 3: American based scams
Page 4: Boat for sale scam
Page 5: Room for Rent scam
Page 6: Motorhome for sale scam
Page 7: I've lost my wallet and need your loan!
Page 8: Give me your PIN number, I already have your credit card number.
Page 9: How to accept payment for your boat without getting scammed